They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
