I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize