If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she peed on how many people?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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