So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
