So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
