I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
