So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
