We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
