In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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