it wasn't lemon gatorade
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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