come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
