Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
