thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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