My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize