from now on my penis is your penis
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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