He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
