Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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