Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You need Xanax blowdarts
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
