I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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