Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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