ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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