At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
