Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
