Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So much Jack, so little girl.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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