is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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