i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
is that a dick in a sweater?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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