so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
