I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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