i always forget guys have bellybuttons
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
