with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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