I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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