Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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