he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
