Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
