i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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