He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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