dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
