It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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