Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
