i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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