I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
