tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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