Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish you could order shots online.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
