apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Alive.
So much puke
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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