can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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