i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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