Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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