what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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