i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
