It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
