Screwed.edu
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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