): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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