I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
