My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
