Umm I'm too high to move.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
