the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
