Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
