Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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