He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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