Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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