its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
