so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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