i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
