Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
