bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
