I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
