How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
