She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
