my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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