he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
